孩子们 吃早饭了Kids, breakfast!孩子们Kids?菲尔 把他们叫下来好吗Phil, would you get them?好 等一

 

孩子们 吃早饭了Kids, breakfast!孩子们Kids?菲尔 把他们叫下来好吗Phil, would you get them?好 等一下Yeah. Just a sec.孩子们Kids!- 这真是 -算了

- That is - Okay.孩子们 快下来Kids? Get down here!我们远在楼上 你们喊也没用Why are you guys yelling at us when were way upstairs?

- 发个短信不就行了 -那是不可能的- Just text me. - All right. Thats not gonna happen.你不能穿这套衣服出门And, wow! Youre not wearing that outfit.

这衣服怎么了Whats wrong with it?亲爱的 对你女儿这条裙子Honey, do you have anything to say- 有什么意见吗 -不好意思- to your daughter about her skirt? - Sorry.

- 挺可爱的嘛 宝贝 -谢了- Oh, yeah. That looks really cute, sweetheart. - Thanks.不行 这裙子太短了No. Its way too short.

大家知道你是女生People know youre a girl.没必要穿这么少给他们看You dont need to prove it to them.卢克又把头卡在栏杆里了Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.

我去吧 婴儿油在哪儿I got it. Wheres the baby oil?在我们床头的 我不知道 你自己找Its on our bedside tab- I dont know. Find it.

拜托Come on!菲尔&克莱尔我在成长期间简直无法无天I was out of control growing up.你看 我坦白了There, you know? I said it.结婚16年我只是不想让我的孩子

I-I just dont want my kids...重蹈我的覆辙to make the same bad mistakes I made.只要海莉没有半裸着在佛罗里达沙滩上醒来I-If Haley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked,

我就算完成我的任务了Ive done my job.- 我俩的任务 -对- Our job. - Right.我就算完成了我俩的任务Ive done our job.加油 曼尼 踢球啊 踢啊Vamos, Manny! Kick it! Kick it!

别让他 踢啊Dont let him- Kick it!曼尼 加油 往右跑 往右Manny, go! A la derecha! A la derecha!不 不 不要啊No! No, no.他下绊子 杰 怎么没人吹犯规

He tripped him, Jay. Wheres the penalty?歌洛莉亚 他们已经落后了6个球Gloria, theyre 0 and 6.你小点声叫喊Lets take it down a notch.

杰&歌洛莉亚结婚6个月我们是不同世界的人Were very different.杰来自城市Jays from the city.他的生意做得很大He has a big business.我来自一个小山村

I come from a small village.穷困潦倒 但风景怡人Very poor but very, very beautiful.我们村拥有全哥伦比亚最多的Its the number one village in all Colombia for all the-

那个词怎么说来着Whats the word?凶杀案Murders.没错 凶杀案Yes. The murders.曼尼 拦住他Manny, stop him!拦住他 你可以的Stop him! You can do it!

你真烂 曼尼Damn it, Manny!教练 该让那孩子下场了Come on, coach. You gotta take that kid out.你想让他下场吗 不如我让你"下场"如何You wanna take him out? How about I take you out?

- 亲爱的 -你还是操心你的儿子吧- Honey, honey. - Why dont you worry about your son?他整个上半场光忙着抓裤裆了He spent the first half with his hand in his pants!

那话我6周来一直想对她说来着Ive wanted to tell her off for the last six weeks.我叫乔希 莱恩的爸爸Im Josh. Ryans dad.我叫歌洛莉亚·普里契特 曼尼的妈妈

Hi, Im Gloria Pritchett. Mannys mother.- 这位是你父亲吧 -她父亲?- Oh, and this must be your dad. - Her dad?- 是啊 -不 不是 真搞笑

- Yeah. - No, no. Thats funny.怎么可能 我是她老公Actually, no, Im her husband.别被外表给骗了Dont be fooled by the, uh-

稍等片刻Give me a second here.谁是乖宝宝啊 是谁啊Who is a good girl? Whos that?是谁啊Whos that?- 她真可爱 -谢谢- Oh, shes adorable. - Oh, thank you.

你好 小公主Hi, precious. Hello.我们刚从越南领养了她Uh, we just, uh- We just adopted her from Vietnam.这是我们第一次带她回家And were bringing her home for the first time, huh?

她像个小天使 你们夫妻俩一定很激动Shes an angel. You and your wife must be thrilled.抱歉 我来晚了 老爹去买点心了Sorry, sorry, sorry. Daddy needed snacks.

大家在聊什么呢So, what are we talking about?我们在一起已经...5年了吧?Uh, we have been together for- guh, five- five years now?

我们非常想要一个孩子And, uh, we just- we decided we really wanted to have a baby.米奇尔&卡梅隆一开始 我们想找一个So, we had initially asked one of our

女同性恋朋友做代孕母亲lesbian friends to be a surrogate, but-后来又想 她们平时就够刻薄了Then we figured, theyre already mean enough.

你能想象她们怀孕后会如何变本加厉吗Can you imagine one of em pregnant? Pregnant, no.还是算了吧 想想就怕No, thank you. Ick.你看到没 大家本来在逗莉莉玩

You saw that, right? Everybody fawning over Lily,你一走进来 他们就装作and then you walk on and suddenly its all,

看机上购物杂志"Ooh, SkyMall.考虑买个电动领带架什么的I gotta buy a motorized tie rack."我得教育一下这帮人All right, you know, Im gonna give the speech.

千万别这么做You are not giving the speech.你还得和他们一起呆上5小时呢Youre gonna be stuck with these people for the next five hours.

好吧 你说得对 我错了Youre right, youre right. Okay. Im sorry.- 你看那个拿着泡芙的宝宝 -好吧 够了- Look at that baby with those cream puffs. - Okay. Excuse me.

不好意思Excuse me.这宝宝原本可能会在人满为患的孤儿院里成长This baby would have grown up in a crowded orphanage多亏我们这些娘娘腔收养呢if it wasnt for us "Cream puffs."

- 你们这些搞歧视的人 -米奇尔- And you know what? Note to all of you who judge- - Mitchell!给我听好了 爱不分种族 信仰Hear this. Love knows no race, creed-

不分性别Or gender.- 我为你们感到羞耻 -米奇尔- And shame on you, - Mitchell.- 你们这些狭隘愚昧的 -米奇尔- you small-minded, ignorant few - Mitchell!

- 干嘛 -人家说的是泡芙- What? -Shes got the cream puffs.各位的耳机费我们请了We would like to pay for everyones headsets.

摩登家庭第一季第一集兄弟 你怎么老是卡在这里面Buddy. Why do you keep getting stuck like this?我以为这次能拔出来呢I thought I could get out this time.

我直说了吧 他得去检查一下智商Im just gonna say it. He needs to be checked by a specialist.好了 你自由了There. Be free.亚瑟王之剑拔出来了

Excalibur.- 今天我有朋友来家里玩 -谁啊- Im having a friend over today. - Who?- 你不认识他 -是个男生吗- Uh, you dont know him. - Him? Him?

哇 男生 你会和他亲嘴吗Ooh, a boy. You gonna kiss him?- 闭嘴 -别激动 别激动- Shut up. - Easy. Easy.- 闭嘴 -你才闭嘴- Yeah, shut up! - No, you shut up!

卢克和艾丽克斯 你们俩出去解决好吗Luke, Alex, why dont you take it outside, okay?怎么解决And do what?- 在太阳下决斗 不错吧 -海莉- Fight in the sun. Itll be a nice change. - Haley.

- 我逗你们玩呢 -是谁要来- Im kidding. - Whos the boy?他叫迪兰His name is Dylan.我还是别让他来算了I might as well tell him not to come...

不然你们又得让我丢脸Because you guys are just going to embarrass me again.亲爱的 等等Sweetie, hang on a second.你15岁了 还是第一次有男生来家里

Youre 15, and its the first time youve had a boy over.我是有点小吃惊Im bound to be a little surprised,可我不会让你丢脸的

but Im not gonna embarrass you.我去给摄像机充好电I better charge the camcorder.逗你玩呢 别这样 也不看看我是谁Im kidding. Come on. Who are you talking to?

我是酷老爹 这是我的风格Im the cool dad. Thats- Thats my thing.我酷毙了 我会上网Im hip. I- I surf the Web.我会发短信 LOL意思是癫狂笑

I text. "LOL"- Laugh out loud.OMG意思是饿滴神"OMG"- Oh, my God.WTF意思是苦逼脸"WTF"- Why the face?《歌舞青春》里所有的舞我都会跳

Um, you know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so-*我们现在欢聚一堂**Were all in this together *

*没错**Yes, we are**我们都是大明星 嘻唰唰嘻唰唰**Were all stars Something, something you know it*- 妈妈 爸爸 -什么事- Mom! Dad! - What happened?

- 卢克用枪射我 -我不是故意的- Luke just shot me! - I didnt mean to.- 你没事吧 -没事才怪- Are you okay? - No.这小贱人用枪射我The little bitch shot me.

- 别说脏话 -只是塑料枪 这是意外- Language! Theyre only plastic BBs. It was an accident.早就告诉你 给他枪就会出事What did I tell you would happen if you got him a gun?

- 你看着办吧 -老弟 是你不对哦- Deal with this. - Buddy, uncool.这就完了吗 不行 不行Thats it? Thats- No, no, no, no.我们说好他用枪射了别人 你就得射他的

The agreement was that if he shoots someone, you shoot him.- 我们当时是认真的吗 -当然是真的- We were serious about that? - Yes, we were.

所以你现在要按说好的执行And now you have to follow through.- 我错了 -你就装吧- Im so sorry. - Liar.- 去吧 -他还要去参加生日会呢- Go. - Hes got a birthday party.

生日会和家法哪个更重要 爸爸Whats more important here, Dad?你可以之后再射他 他两点就能到家You can shoot him afterwards. Hell be home at 2:00.

两点不行I cant shoot him at 2:00.我两点还得带人去看房子Im showing a house at 2:00.- 三点吧 -不行 三点他有足球赛- What about 3:00? - No, hes got a soccer game at 3:00.

然后我们五点就得去赴宴And then- Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing at 5:00.4点15吧 你可以在那时候射他4:15. You could shoot him at 4:15.

行 那个时候我有空Yeah, I guess that works for me. Oh!- 射卢克 -抱歉老弟 铁板钉钉了- "Shoot Luke." - Sorry, dude. Its on the calendar.

别这样啊Oh, come on!我不想踢足球了 那是小孩儿玩的Im quitting soccer. It is a game for children.不 你不能放弃No, youre not quitting.

对方之所以会进球You would have stopped that goal完全是因为你光顾着看小姑娘了if you werent staring at that little girl.她不是小姑娘 她是成熟的女人

She is not a girl. Shes a woman.歌洛莉亚 你犯得着非要和You know, Gloria, that little blowup with that other mom那个妈妈吵架吗

Why do you have to do things like that?如果有人敢对我的家人说三道四If somebody says something about my family,- 我一定 -我只是说

- Im going to - Im just saying.你火气应该小一点 就这样You could take it down here a little bit. Thats all.没错 你总是这么忍气吞声的

Oh, yeah. Cause thats where you live, down here.- 可我咽不下这口气 -可是- But I live up here! - Yeah, but,我只是说 你别那么容易激动嘛

you dont have to be so emotional all the time.Thats all Im saying.曼尼 你也这么觉得吧Manny, youre with me on this, right?

我要告诉布兰达·费德曼我爱她I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her.- 天啊 -曼尼 她都16岁了- Oh, for God sakes. - Manny, shes 16.

你不就找了年长的对象吗Oh. Its okay for you to take an older lover?- 嘿 说话注意点 -我要去她上班的商场- Hey, watch it. - I wanna go to the mall where she works.

不过我先得换上我的白衬衫 丝绸的那件But first I need to get my white shirt, the silk one.好吧 如果你真想这么做的话Okay. If thats what you really want to do.

说真的 不是我要当恶毒的后爹Seriously. Not to be the evil stepdad,可你要真穿着那臃肿的白衬衣but if you put on a puffy white shirt...

去向16岁的姑娘告白and declare your love for a 16-year-old,你会被扒得只剩条白内裤youre gonna be swinging from the flagpole

然后被吊在旗杆上in your puffy white underpants.- 停车 -你去哪儿- Stop the car. - Oh, where are you going?看到没 你伤他的心了

See? You hurt his feelings.要是这能让他变得坚强点Ah- Well, if it toughens him up a little bit then-我的妈呀 他居然去采野花了

Oh, geez. Hes picking flowers.曼尼是个多情种 和他爹一个样Mannys very passionate, just like his father.我的前夫 风度翩翩 但太疯狂了

My first husband- hes very handsome, but too crazy.我们不是在吵架就是在做爱It seemed like all we did was fight and make love,

吵架 做爱 吵架 做爱fight and make love, fight and make love.说真的 有一次 我们从窗口摔下去了One time, Im not kidding you, we fell out the window together.

你们当时在吵架还是做爱Which- Which one were you doing?我也是第一次听说这事Im hearing this for the first time.你不担心吗This doesnt worry you?

她在飞机上就没怎么睡 现在还很清醒She barely slept on the plane and shes still wide awake.- 别想多了 -不想才怪- Oh, stop worrying. - I cant.

那个孤儿院里都是女人That- That orphanage was all women.也许离开女性柔软的怀抱 她就睡不着Maybe she just- she cant fall asleep unless she feels a womans shape.

- 有可能 -那你抱着她- I guess thats possible. - So here.你这话是什么意思What the hell is that supposed to mean?没错Yes,

在等待领养孩子的期间 我是长胖了一点Ive gained a few extra pounds while we were expecting the baby,过程相当艰辛which has been very difficult.

但显然你的身体会But apparently your body产生一些母性的本能反应does a nesting, very maternal, primal thing...来储存养分where it retains nutrients-

像是分子生理学那类的some sort of molecular physiology thing.那是科学事实But thats science.人类 根本无力抵抗You cant- You cant fight it, so-

- 我没别的意思 -你就是话里有话- Im not saying anything. - Youre saying everything.- 数到3 -1 2- Count to three. - One, two-

- 3 -好吧- Three. - Okay.- 小卡 真美 -我的天 你喜欢吗- Oh, Cam. This is beautiful. - Oh, my God. Do you love it?当然 我

Yes, I-这是什么玩意What the hell is that?我让安珠尔趁我们不在时画的I had Andre do it while we were gone.那是我俩吗 还长着翅膀Is that us, with wings?

我们在她的上方 永远守护着她Were floating above her, always there to protect her.这真让人心安 对吧 莉莉Okay. Well, thats reassuring, right, Lily?

我们把你从熟悉的环境中抢出来Yes, we tore you away from everything you know,可别担心 新环境一切"正常"but dont worry, things are normal here.

你的大爸二爸可是飞天小精灵哦Your fathers are floating fairies.不行 你能叫安珠尔No, can you call Andre,重新画点不那么基情的东西吗have him paint something a little less gay?

另外 我们也该少和安珠尔往来By the way, we need to stop having friends他名字也太娘了with names like Andre.- 红发老爹怒火旺盛 -我才不是

- Redheaded dad is angry daddy. - No, Im not.你就是Yes, you are.回来的路上 连胡娇都看出来了Even Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport.

你看 又一个娘气的名字 胡娇Okay, thats another one- Pepper.你到底怎么不爽Okay, whats up?好吧 听着All right, look. I-我还没有告诉家里领养孩子的事

I- I never told my family we were adopting a baby.- 而且 -我知道- And... - I know.- 你知道 -我不怪你 我了解你家人- You do? - Yeah, and I dont blame you. I know your family.

你一告诉他们 他们就开始说三道四Youd tell em. Theyd say something judgmental.- 就是这样 -然后你就会生气- Exactly. - Youd get mad.

没错 当爹本该是一件喜事I know. And then something thats supposed to be nothing but joyful转眼就变成一团混战suddenly turns into this huge fight.

谁愿意让事情变得一团糟呢And who wants a big, emotional scene like that?谢谢 谢谢Thank you. Thank you.你能理解我 真是让我松了一口气Im so- Im so relieved you understand.

所以我邀请了他们今晚来吃饭I invited them over for dinner tonight.- 什么 -我也是不得已- What? - I had to.这样下去没完没了 你就只会逃避This would have gone on forever. Youre an avoider.

不 小卡 我现在就打电话取消这件事No. No. No. Cam, Im calling them right now and canceling.不准打No, youre not.今晚你得把领养的事告诉全家人

Youre telling your family you adopted a baby, tonight.你就是喜欢逃避 连朗吉娜都这么说And you do have avoidance issues. Even Longinus said so.

你自己听听 这些名字有多娘Are- Are you really not hearing these names?你们别管了 我来开门Dont answer it! Ill get it!你好 你一定是迪兰吧

Hi. Hey, you must be Dylan.- 是的 迪兰 -我是海莉的妈妈- Hey. Dylan. Yeah. - Im Haleys mother.- 我们走吧 -那个- Come on. Lets go. - Okay. Um-

等一下Hang on one second.迪兰 你还在念高中吗Dylan, youre still in high school?- 是 我高三了 -高三 很好- Yeah, Im a senior. -A senior. Okay. Cool.

菲尔 亲爱的 这是迪兰 他读高三Hey, Phil. Sweetie. Honey. He is Dylan, and he is a senior.你得给他个下马威You have to scare him.

让我瞧瞧这个花心大少Let me meet this "Playa."在下菲尔·邓菲Phil Dunphy, yo.就是这样 你只需死盯着他们看Its like that. You just- You just stare down at em,

用眼神中的杀气震住他们let the eyes do the work.你嘴上说着 没问题Your mouth might be saying, "Hey, we cool,"可你的眼神说 才怪but your eyes are like, "No, we not."

很高兴见到你 才怪"Nice to meet you." "No, its not."挺不错嘛"Its all good."才怪"No, its not."- 我看你俩已经 -等一下- Okay, I see you two guys- - Wait, wait, wait.

你们俩You two-你俩要坦诚相待 懂吗 小子You two keep it real, know what I mean, son?不太懂Not really.- 求求你 别说了 -没事- Please, stop. - Thats cool.

- 妈呀我的背 -亲爱的- Ow. Oh, God! Thats my back. - Oh, honey. Sweetheart.我被婴儿油滑倒了Ow! Oh! I slipped in the baby oil.

你哪儿冒出来的啊"Oh, where you from originally?"单挑的话 我轻而易举就能放倒你"I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation."

我不知道该怎么办 要打电话叫医生吗I dont know about this. Should I call a doctor?不用不用 好了No, no, no, no, no. Okay.- 小样儿挺强壮的啊 -谢谢夸奖

- Youre very strong, homes. - Thanks.- 好 轻轻放下我 -好了- Okay. Nice- Nice soft landing. - There you go.- 行了我们走吧 -我还侧躺着

- Okay, lets go. Come on. - I am on my side though.现在只需把我放平 就没事了So just flip me right back, and were good.

就没事了Well be good.只需要把我翻过来就行I just need to get flipped right on my back,就没事了and we should be fine. So-

布兰达·费尔曼Brenda Feldman.- 你拿的什么 -我为布兰达·费尔曼写的诗- What is that? - A poem I have written for Brenda Feldman.

不用想也知道Of course it is.我将心事化为文字 将文字用于行动I put my thoughts into words and now my words into action.你取消行动的话 我就给你50块钱

Hey, Ill give you 50 bucks not to do this.我才11岁而已 要那么多钱干什么Im 11 years old. What am I gonna do with money?

你这年纪要16岁的花姑娘又能干什么What are you gonna do with a 16-year-old?- 他就像个斗牛士 -你见过斗牛吗- Hes like a bullfighter. - Mmm. You ever see a bullfight?

我看不下去了 -我知道你心情不好I cant watch this. - Youre in such a bad mood.我也知道原因 因为那人以为你是我爸爸And I know why. Its because that man thought you were my father.

- 不是的 -就是- No. - Yes.- 不是 -你这样否认时 就代表是- No. - When you say "No" like that, its always "Yes."别这样 我们都到商场了

Come on. Were in the mall.给你买点年轻的衣服吧Lets get you, like, some younger clothes.- 那边有家店 -我不需要年轻的衣服- Theres a store there. - I dont need any younger clothes.

我也不在乎那些And I dont care what some jackass穿着破牛仔裤的混蛋如何看我in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me.没错 你不用在乎他们

Good. You shouldnt.你只要在乎我的想法就行了You should only care what I think.我爱你 我不在意你的年纪I love you, and I dont care how old you are.

所以别郁闷了 对曼尼也别那么凶So stop being a gloomy goose and stop being so hard on Manny.我对曼尼严格只是因为The only reason Im hard on Manny...

我不想让他出洋相Is just because I dont wanna see him make a fool of himself.我从这儿都能闻到他的发胶味了And I can smell that hair goo of his from here.

我不知道他那里会发生什么Look, I dont know whats gonna happen to him over there.可你是他的家人 这就意味着But youre his family now, and that means only one thing-

你只可背后送春风 不可当面唾其脸You be the wind in his back, not the spit in his face.- 啥玩意 -这是我妈常挂嘴边的话- What? -Its something my mom always says.

用西班牙语说很华丽的Its gorgeous in Spanish.瞧 他来了Look, hes there.- 她名花有主了 -真遗憾 小宝贝- She has a boyfriend. - Oh, Im sorry, mi nino.

我把心献给了她I gave her my heart,她却还了一幅把我画成老式警长的图she gave me a picture of me as an old-time sheriff.- 我真傻是吧 -才不是呢小宝贝

- That was pretty stupid of me, wasnt it? - No, mi amor.你是勇气可嘉 对吧 杰 勇气可嘉It was brave. Right, Jay? Brave.

下次你就会进步了W-Well, youll know better next time.来 我们买椒盐卷去Come on. Lets get a pretzel.没事 我挺喜欢这画的Mentira. A me se me gusta.

先生 不好意思Uh, excuse me, sir.在商场散步锻炼的人必须靠右边走We ask that all mall-walkers stay to the right.艾丽克斯 出去 妈妈你看她

Alex, get out! Mom!艾丽克斯 别去烦你姐姐Alex, leave your sister alone.我只是进去拿我的书而已 至于吗I was just getting my book. Gosh.

我知道 亲爱的 可你要尊重个人隐私I know, sweetie. But you need to respect their privacy.- 他们在楼上干嘛呢 -没干嘛- What are they doing up there? - Nothing.

躺在她床上并肩看电影Lying on her bed, watching a movie.很好 很好Okay. Okay.我在为今晚的聚餐准备蛋糕Um, Im making a cake for tonight.

你想帮我做糖霜吗You wanna help me with the frosting?好啊Sure.要是海莉怀孕了So, you know, if Haley got pregnant,你会假装她得了腮腺炎 请假在家

would you ever pretend she has mono for a few months,然后告诉别人那孩子是你的吗and then, like, tell everyone the babys yours?

- 什么 -有个高中生请了4个月病假- What? - This senior at school was "Out sick" for four months,可吉娜·瑞斯尼克发誓说看到她but Jenna Resnick swears she saw her breast-feeding

在自助洗车站给孩子喂奶at a coin-op car wash.老弟 你穿了多少衣服啊Buddy, what are you wearing?- 没穿多少 -把外套脱了- Nothing. - Uh-uh. No jacket.

只能戴一顶帽子One hat.你穿了几条内裤啊How many pairs of underwear do you have on?就1条One.是6条Six.首先 看海莉怀孕变胖还蛮爽的First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat.

更酷的是And how awesome would it be多了个假弟弟 实际上是我亲外甥to have a fake little brother whos really my nephew.海莉才不会怀孕

Haley is not getting pregnant.- 我只是说假如 -我知道- Just saying "If." - I know.我知道你喜欢找你姐的茬儿And I know you like to make trouble for your sister,

不过这次不管用了but its not gonna work this time.知道为啥吗 因为你姐是个好女孩You know why? Cause your sisters a good girl.

我明白 因为她和我当年一模一...I know. I was just like her when I was-要知道 我也不想这么做I want you to know, Im not enjoying this.

可你得吸取这个教训But this is an important lesson that youre learning.所以 记好了 记住了So, soak it. Keep it.你站太近了 这样会很疼的

Youre too close. Its gonna hurt.就是要你疼Its supposed to hurt.- 你干嘛贱贱地笑 -我笑了吗- And why are you smiling? - Im- What?

算了 我下不了手Oh, forget it. I cant do this.就是要让你害怕 你已经学到教训了The point is youre scared. I think youve learned your lesson.

妈 你干什么啊Mom! What are you doing?我是来放洗好的衣服Oh, hey! I was just, um, dropping off some laundry.- 打扰到你们了吗 -当然

- Is this a bad time? - Yeah.那我走好了Oh. Okay.你能把门带上吗Uh, can you shut the door, please?我们还是让门开着吧Actually, were just gonna go ahead and leave that open.

为啥Why?因为这种场景我见多了Because I have, uh, seen this little show before-和高大的学长共卧一塌Lying on the bed with a tall senior.

上一秒还只是一起看《鹰冠庄园》的朋友One minute youre just friends, watching Falcon Crest,下一秒你们就钻进游戏桌下and the next youre lying underneath the air hockey table

宽衣解带了with your bra in your pocket.妈妈Mom!- 你打到我的骨头了 -纯属意外- You hit my bone! - It was an accident!- 我以为你是我哥们呢 -我是啊

- I thought you were my friend! - I am your friend.爸爸 你必须和妈妈谈谈Dad! Dad, Dad. You have got to talk to Mom.

她简直是疯了 而且丢尽了我的脸She is, like, completely freaking out and embarrassing me!宝贝 你妈是不像你爸那么通情达理Honey, your mom isnt always as cool about things as-

这玩意怎么回事啊What is with this thing?我爸My dad.我爸对这事还是不太习惯Uh, my dad still isnt completely comfortable with this.

已经过了5年了 他还是无法完全接受Um- He-He still does this thing. Its been five years now.每次他要进入我和小卡在的房间时And he still does this thing where he announces himself...

他都会先喊一声before walking into any room were in...以防撞见我和小卡亲嘴just to make sure he doesnt have to ever see us kiss.

要是我妈也有这个习惯就好了Wish my mother had that system.- 还记得吗 -以后再说- Remember? - Not now.我真不敢相信你这么对我I still cant believe you did this to me.

你能高兴点吗 这是个庆祝会啊Would you get in the spirit of things? Its a celebration.天啊Oh, God.- 我去给莉莉打扮一下 -好- Okay, Im gonna go get Lily ready. - Okay.

- 我要你对他们实话实说 -好吧- And I want you to just come straight out with it. - All right.听话 你能做到的Okay. You can do this.

来个运动员式的撞胸Yeah. Sports guy chest bump.- 不要 -来撞一个- No. - Sports guy chest bump.- 小卡 好了 -上吧- Cam. Oh! All right. Go - Do it.

抱歉Sorry.- 你好啊 -大家好啊- How are you? - Hi, guys. Hey.看起来很美味啊 谢谢That looks good. Oh, thank you. Thanks.不用谢 打开吧 爸爸后脚马上就到

Dont thank us. Open it. Dad is coming right behind.有人吗 我们要进来了Knock, knock! Were here. Coming in!别担心爸爸 我们没在里面搞基

Dont worry, Dad. Nothing gay going on here.能帮你脱下这缤纷外套和闪亮小帽吗May I take your multicolored coat and bejeweled cap?

- 拿去吧 -杰你好啊- Yeah. Yeah. - Hey, Jay.- 你好 歌洛莉亚 -你好- Gloria, hi. - Hi.- 老爸你还好吗 -歌洛莉亚 你好- How are you? Hi, Dad. - Hi, Gloria. How are you?

- 裙子真漂亮 -谢谢你 菲尔- Oh, what a beautiful dress. - Ay, thank you, Phil.好吧Okay.菲尔Oh, hey, Phil.她是叫你名字 不是要你去摸

Thats how she says "Phil." Not "Feel." Phil.- 旅行怎么样 -挺好的 真的- So how was your trip? - It was good. It was good actually.

关于这事But, um, about that, I- I我有些事要告诉你们have something that I need to tell you guys.我们去越南不光是为了旅游Um- Uh, we didnt just go to Vietnam for pleasure.

我们有重要消息宣布We, uh, kind of have some big news.天啊 要是小卡隆了胸 我立马走人Oh, God. If Cam comes out here with boobs, Im leaving.

- 爸爸 -我希望你的家长没让你觉得丢人 妈- Dad. - I hope he didnt embarrass you, Mom.别管她 海莉今天首次带男生回家Oh, dont mind her. Haley had her first boy over today...

菲尔就给了他一枪And Phil shot him.总之 一年前Anyway, um, so, about- about a year ago,小卡和我开始渴望有一个Cam and I started feeling this longing, you know,

有一个 孩子for something more, like, uh, maybe a baby?- 这主意很糟糕 -你说糟糕是什么意思- Ooh, thats a bad idea. - What do you mean, "Bad idea"?

孩子需要有妈妈Well, kids need a mother.如果你们俩无聊了 可以养条狗I mean if you two guys are bored, get a dog.我们不是闲得无聊 爸Okay, were not bored, Dad.

我支持米奇尔 尽管你不是我亲生的I support you, Mitchell, even though youre not my son.我觉得爸爸的意思是I-I-I-I think what Dad is trying to say...

米奇尔 你有点紧张兮兮的is that, Mitchell, youre a little uptight.孩子就意味着麻烦 你没法处理这种事Kids bring chaos, and- and you dont handle it well.

爸爸可不是这个意思Thats not what Dads saying.这是你的意思Thats what youre saying.而且是从另一个角度羞辱了我And its insulting in a whole different way.

好了 各位都冷静点Okay, people. Lets all "Chillax."- 卡梅隆舅夫呢 -多谢多谢- Hey, wheres Uncle Cameron? - Thank you. Thank you.

总算有人发现他不在了 而不是光羞辱我Someone whos not insulting me notices hes not here.原来你的重要消息就是这个啊Oh, so thats the big announcement, huh?

你俩分手了吗You two broke up.领养个孩子也挽救不了破裂的婚姻Well- Well, a baby wasnt gonna help that anyway.老实说 你们分了也好And let me tell you. Youre better off,

他就喜欢小题大做because he was a bit of a drama queen.不是的 打住 打住No, no, no. Stop. Stop. No.你们到我家来 还羞辱我和我的男朋友You come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend,

而且他才没有小题大做who, by the way, is not that dramatic-我们领养了一个宝宝We adopted a baby.她名叫莉莉Her name is Lily.- 激动吧 -停下来

- Exciting! - Just turn it off.我停不下来 这就是我的个性I cant turn it off. Its who I am.- 我是说音乐 -关音乐啊- The music. - Oh, yes, the music.

来和莉莉打招呼吧Come say hi to Lily.看看这个小公主Ay, miren a la princesita.真是个小公主The little princess.- 她好可爱 -多谢夸奖- Shes so cute! - Thank you.

让我看看 让我看看Let me see her. Let me see her.你好啊 莉莉Hi there, Lily.莉莉 对她来说不是很难发音吗"Lily." Isnt that gonna be hard for her to say?

- 菲尔打住 -我说- Phil. - Excuse me.我知道我说了领养这个主意很糟糕Okay, I-I-I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea.

可我又懂什么呢But, uh, what do I know?我也不是个模范父亲I mean, its not like I wrote the book on fatherhood.一辈子都想做好爸爸 可我还是搞砸了

Been trying all my life to get it right. Im still screwing up.- 对吧曼尼 -我在车上为此写了首歌- Right, Manny? - I wrote a song about it in the car.

意料之中Of course you did.不管怎样 我为你们感到高兴Anyway, Im happy for you.你们要知道And, uh, you should know that, uh,我不是来唾你们脸的

Im not here to spit in your face,我是来给你们 吹吹后背春风的Im here to... blow at your back.- 我不懂你的意思 -我也不懂- I dont understand what that means. - I dont-

这话用西班牙语说比较好听Well, its- its supposed to sound better in Spanish.真好听 真美Oh, thats beautiful. Thats really nice.

也谢谢你And thank you too.总之 米奇Anyhow, Mitch, uh-不用了 爸爸No, Dad, its- its- -- 我来抱她 -她哭了- I got her. I got her. - Oh, shes crying.

她要爷爷抱 她要爸爸抱She wants her grandpa! She wants her daddy!- 想见见爷爷吗 -开什么玩笑- Do you wanna meet Grandpa? - What? Are you kidding?

她是自家人了 让我瞧瞧你这跟屁虫Shes one of us now. Let me see the little pot sticker.你真是个小可爱 对吗Hey, youre a cutie, arent you?

看看这个Ah. Look at this.我们来自不同的世界 但我们彼此相容Were from different worlds, yet we somehow fit together.爱将我们紧紧相连 共度风风雨雨

Love is what binds us, through fair or stormy weather.我到你的前面 只有一事相许I stand before you now with only one agenda-

我的心只属于你"To let you know my heart is yours,布兰达·费尔曼Feldman comma Brenda."不是吧我靠I mean, seriously.至今为止 卢克在篮球上还没赢过我

Luke, so far, hasnt beaten me in basketball.2比0 2比0 来吧Its 2-0. 2-0. Okay. Okay.- 手下败将 滚吧 -爸爸 住手- Get that weak stuff out of my kitchen! - Dad, stop it!

帮个忙好吗 站过去Can you do me a favor? Just grab-篮下的滋味如何Hows the weather down there?等到他赢过我的那一天But when the day comes that he does win-

如果有那么一天if- you know- if/when-他打败了我 我会说he beats me, Im just gonna be like,干得好 干得好"Well done. Well done."

就这样支持他Just, like, let him- Just support him...就是这样in- in- in that kind of stuff.我可能会说I mean, Id probably want to go, like,

三局两胜才算赢 再来一局什么的two out of three and just see what happens there, but-

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